To Whom It May Concern

15 Mar

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To Whom It May Concern,

There is always so much in the media about women’s rights equalling men’s, women still being paid less for the same job roles as men, women being thought of as the lesser role, the stereo typical home maker, wife, little women etc and though I agree there are issues that still need addressing I really don’t think most women appreciate how far things have swung the other way.

By this I mean once upon a time even as short ago as in our Mothers era, women were expected to stay at home with the children have lesser careers if they worked at all, now it seems this attitude has changed. The expected is for a women to work and not only this but for a women to be judged on the type of job she holds and her earning capabilities; these are expected to rival that of the man oh and still have children, a home that’s better than ‘The Jones’s’ as well as this job, if you have children and a husband, the not working thing can be excused as long as you did something before being a mother, but what about those that haven’t got children well … It Becomes A Conversation Killer …

Surely the plite of the suffragettes and feminists over the years was for equality and mostly choice, not to force another stereotype. (I’m not starting that lengthy discussion)

~ Try being a homemaker and stay at home little women, without children in 2013 and see what reception the world gives you ~

People meet myself, a 30 year old women average looking in all ways and dress, I am chatty and friendly and they meet Mr S whose 30 blah blah, handsome and charming (ok so I am maybe a little bias on Mr S) and obviously the conversation flows, Mr S does such and such for a living etcetera and then it comes to the and “what do you do S” I’ve had lots of conversations meeting people recently that go like this …

Q: So what do you do S
A: I do nothing (as I smile)

Q: Oh (awkward moment)
Q: You have no children.

A: No (smile)

I’ve passed thinking I have to justify what I do – but I feel the awkward moment I’ve caused so I’ve taken to explaining it like this…

A: I’m Lucky enough to be a homemaker and spend my days looking after Mr S and our pets.

People smile and then spend the night looking at me with pity and stupidity.
“She obviously doesn’t have anything of importance to say she didn’t get anywhere in life” Worse still are family members that have this view.
Now you could say I’m paranoid, Mr S did at first as he thought better of people, but his now seeing it.

The other week I had someone openly shocked that I had a brain and had been to university!
I said yes I know more than your average person about that as I spent years studying it and working in that area.
! These people bore me !
With there shallow verbalisations, thoughts and assumption.

Ever heard a wise head keeps a still tongue. Well the wiser person doesn’t have to tell you all they know always.
Just because someone’s confidently shouting about it doesn’t make them correct or any more intelligent, it just means that shouting about it, I know! me! me! me! makes them feel better about themselves and I’m happy to let them.

Everyone keeps suggesting jobs I could have or do or they have seen for me – but I’m not looking for a job – thank you for your kind thoughts – but it’s what you and society expect me to do. Worry about yourselves not me. I have a job at home looking after my man and our home.

Please understand I am finally happy … I don’t need to have a career earning top dollar, nor do I have to tell you how many letters I have after my name or have to seek yours or societies approval… Because I’m truly soul deep happy being me.
And for me none of those things matter at this present time.
I respect and admire what makes you happy so please reciprocate this.

Please stop trying to make me in the wrong, feel guilty or unworthy.

I don’t bother explaining why & how my circumstances came about its nobodies business but mine and Mr S’s. If one day we are penniless I will do what ever job I can if we need me too but for now our happiness beats the materialistic rat race.
Mr S works darn hard so we can have our life and I try my hardest to give him back a supportive and loving home environment to come home too.

I do get defensive and it is I’ve concluded out of guilt. I feel guilty not contributing money and going out to work. Before now it wasn’t an option. But Mr S and I have discussed this and I provide in other ways I couldn’t if I went to work. Mostly this guilt though is the guilt others put upon me to feel like this because of their expectations as I’ve said above.

Why when so many women wish and aren’t lucky enough to be able to stay at home and look after their home, children and not work. Is my life so offensive, alien and wrong to people ??

Yours Faithfully

Very Lucky HA. pPY.

****

The last two days have been very productive in our house.
Lots of washing, ironing, sorting paper work, cleaning – I have even done the windows a pointless task in our house with the dog.
* The start of SPRING CLEANING.*
Which I will carry out now over the next few weeks.
And it feels good!

I love a super super clean house. Everything is generally organised and has a place in our home, a box, a file a draw, a place in a place, a box in a box. But we still have things like the garage that need sorting and developing, like I want to organise the camping kits in to more specific types of kits. For example we have the HUGE tent with all the camping kit including cute flowery bunting for Glamping and then a tent for free camping, so kit that fits in a rucksack and then another 2 in between yes we are obsessed with camping. – I feel an ikea trip for boxes coming on, oh and the ice cube tray, napkins and all the other bits you didn’t know you needed when you go to ikea or is that only me and my friends that do that ??

I’ve been sewing my flying birdies for my birdie chain. Nearly there just hand sewing takes me a while.

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And that brings Hundred Acre Farm to the weekend.

Have a good one.

S

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