Treading Water

12 Jul

It’s been a while blog’iends* (*Blog Friends). I seem to be saying this a lot recently.

Going back to the origin of my blog I’m still finding the happiness in everyday.

But to let you into my life, I’ve just been a bit lost at sea, treading water for the last couple of months if I am honest.
It started in April and I’ve been up and down since.

Being a ‘Lupie’ & having various other inflictions I have to take medication. I fought for years not to take any but this only made life impossible at times and silly when relief was there.

Since trying for a baby I’ve had to stop various med’s and honestly I’m finding it darn hard to push through some days.
I’d almost forgotten what it’s like to cry with exasperation.
To start the day feeling like you haven’t slept.
One way to describe it is I feel paralysed, I have an active brain but it just doesn’t connect with my body; I lay in bed willing even my little finger to move and its no good, nothing.

And then there are the days when both my body & brain have had enough. Slurring words, Migraines, Clumsiness to name but a few.

Mr S is very supportive I am so very lucky but I struggle with feeling like I let him down too. He works so hard and all I manage to do some days is get up, wash and basic chores.

I knew this would be a hard time so I set myself personal goals to achieve before trying for a baby. These routines & goals help me maintain things and stay on top even on bad days.

With how I’ve been feeling I’ve not always felt like sitting down to write long posts. Especially when I have WordPress seems to loose them! My Update is hit and miss to whether it saves or not. Sole destroying when your tired.

I have a few posts planned for the weekend to bring you up to date with all going on at Hundred Acre Farm. So watch this space.

Here is to a good weekend folks.

S

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